MY RELATIONSHIP WITH EXERCISE
BEEP BEEP BEEP….It’s 6 AM in the morning. Like an angry drill sergeant my alarm clock bellows – “get your lazy butt out of bed.” I whine and moan like a 2 year old. Closing my eyes I mumble “just ten more minutes please drill sergeant, sir!.” Snuggled up and warm under my covers, the wheels start turning in my head: “I think I’ll just sleep in. I’ll exercise after work instead of getting up.” Knowing darn well that when I get home from work it’ll be the same thing.
After an exhausting day I’ll be too tired to run 2 miles and do an hour of yoga. Brushing the guilt aside, I just tell myself that I’ll skip the evening work out and try again tomorrow morning. And so lying here at 6 am the vicious cycle starts again.
“FINE!” I yell at myself, after thinking of the cycle. “I’ll do it. I’ll get up.” Patting my kitten Taylor on the head she mumbles back a chirp. I know what she is thinking: “Stop complaining about being fat and get up.” Begrudgingly I hop out of bed and my feet touch the ground. Padding my way to the bathroom I chuckle at a thought: When my father was young his dad would drag him out of bed. When my dad would complain like I am doing now, my grandpa would tell him: “Just throw some water on your face and drink a glass of o.j.” Yeah that would wake me up too, I though sarcastically.
Flipping on the light switch I being making my protein breakfast smoothie. Vrroom, vroom, munch, munch! As the blender whirls my ingredients together, the kitties are at their food bowls chowing down on some kibbles for breakfast. Gulping down the spinach protein smoothie I start to wake up a bit. I thrown on my workout gear, lace my tennis shoe and head out the door.
Walking down the street I start to pick up the pace,watching the cars and the kids on their bikes zooming past me. They both race to get to school and work on time. Whether it’s the country tunes on my mp3 player or a rush of endorphin’s I start to feel really good. Soon before I know it I found myself running down the sidewalk.
I can’t believe I almost skipped out on running this morning. I FEEL SO GREAT! And so begins my love/hate relationship with exercise. I hate working out. Yet I get this amazing rush every workout session. When I skip my morning run I feel guilty and sluggish. I hate going more than one day without running . It’s funny because as much as I hate exercising, I love it just as much.
WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER
Lately though I’ve been so mad and upset. I’ve been working out and trying to watch what I eat, but the weight will not budge. I feel like no matter what I do the scale will not move between the 1-2 lbs that I seem to fluctuate on. I just don’t get it and I get very frustrated. It’s a learning curve that I am trying conquer. Because I am getting older (I”m 33) my metabolism is no longer the same. What I did in my 20’s to loose and keep up my weight no longer works. It’s kinda weird being stuck here. I thought I knew all there was about loosing weight and maintaining it- eating healthy and working out. I was wrong, so very wrong. There is so much to it.
I’ve just started changing my diet habits. Recently 95% of my diet was a healthy one and then the other 5% was junk food (fries, candy cookies) in moderation. Time to start modifying those numbers! I’m thinking only 2% of junk food shall be lavished. Same goes with exercise. I was able to get away with 40 minutes of cardio to stay fit. I am going to try to do 40 minutes of cardio combined with either 30 minutes of weights or 60 mins of yoga.
Like I mentioned in my last post I HATE that I’ve gained 10 lbs. I hate that the scale won’t budge. What I hate even more is learning all over again. I hope that whatever I learn I can pass my wisdom and knowledge over to you.
Eating healthy and staying fit isn’t some gimmick. It’s not quick fix. It’s just that, a lifestyle. That means there are going to bumps in the road and we just have to learn how to ride over those bumps. That’s what I am doing now. I am learning how to conquer this mountain, this wave, this hill. I know I can do it. Why? Because I WANT to. I have the motivation and the will. What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. I can do it! I will loose 10 lbs. I will be stronger, fitter, and healthier!