My Love and Hate Relationship With Exercise


BEEP BEEP BEEP….It’s 6 AM in the morning.  Like an angry drill sergeant  my alarm clock bellows – “get your lazy butt out of bed.”  I whine and moan like a 2 year old. Closing my eyes I mumble “just ten more minutes please drill sergeant, sir!.”  Snuggled up and warm under my covers, the wheels start turning in my head:  “I think I’ll just sleep in.  I’ll exercise after work instead of getting up.”  Knowing darn well that when I get home from work it’ll be the same thing.

After an exhausting day I’ll be too tired to run 2 miles and do an hour of yoga. Brushing the guilt aside, I just tell myself that I’ll skip the evening work out and try again tomorrow morning.  And so lying here at 6 am the vicious cycle starts again.

“FINE!” I yell at myself, after thinking of the cycle.  “I’ll do it.  I’ll get up.” Patting my kitten Taylor on the head she mumbles back a chirp.  I know what she is thinking: “Stop complaining about being fat and get up.”  Begrudgingly I hop out of  bed and my feet touch the ground. Padding my way to the bathroom I chuckle at a thought: When my father was young his dad would drag him out of bed. When my dad would complain like I am doing now, my grandpa would tell him: “Just throw some water on your face and drink a glass of o.j.” Yeah that would wake me up too, I though sarcastically.

Flipping on the light switch I being making my protein breakfast smoothie. Vrroom, vroom, munch, munch! As the blender whirls my ingredients together, the kitties are at their food bowls chowing down on some kibbles for breakfast. Gulping down the spinach protein smoothie I start to wake up a bit. I thrown on my workout gear, lace my tennis shoe and head out the door.

Walking down the street I start to pick up the pace,watching the cars and the kids on their bikes zooming past me. They both race to get to school and work on time. Whether it’s the country tunes on my mp3 player or a rush of endorphin’s I start to feel really good. Soon before I know it I found myself running down the sidewalk.

I can’t believe I almost skipped out on running this morning.  I FEEL SO GREAT! And so begins my love/hate relationship with exercise. I hate working out. Yet I get this amazing rush every workout session. When I skip my morning run I feel guilty and sluggish. I hate going more than one day without running . It’s funny because as much as I hate exercising, I love it just as much.


Lately though I’ve been so mad and upset. I’ve been working out and trying to watch what I eat, but the weight will not budge. I feel like no matter what I do the scale will not move between the 1-2 lbs that I seem to fluctuate on. I just don’t get it and I get very frustrated. It’s a learning curve that I am trying conquer. Because I am getting older (I”m 33) my metabolism is no longer the same. What I did in my 20’s to loose and keep up my weight no longer works. It’s kinda weird being stuck here. I thought I knew all there was about loosing weight and maintaining it- eating healthy and working out.  I was wrong, so very wrong. There is so much to it.

I’ve just started changing my diet habits. Recently 95% of my diet was a healthy one and then the other 5% was junk food (fries, candy cookies) in moderation. Time to start modifying those numbers! I’m thinking only 2% of junk food shall be lavished. Same goes with exercise. I was able to get away with 40 minutes of cardio to stay fit. I am going to try to do 40 minutes of cardio combined with either 30 minutes of weights or 60 mins of yoga.

Like I mentioned in my last post I HATE that I’ve gained 10 lbs. I hate that the scale won’t budge. What I hate even more is learning all over again.  I hope that whatever I learn I can pass my wisdom and knowledge over to you.

Eating healthy and staying fit isn’t some gimmick. It’s not quick fix. It’s just that, a  lifestyle. That means there are going to bumps in the road and we just have to learn how to ride over those bumps. That’s what I am doing now. I am learning how to conquer this mountain, this wave, this hill. I know I can do it. Why?  Because I WANT to. I have the motivation and the will. What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. I can do it! I will loose 10 lbs. I will be stronger, fitter, and healthier!


5 thoughts on “My Love and Hate Relationship With Exercise

  1. Good luck with everything! I find that weight loss has to do with diet more than exercise. I exercise because I look forward to the adrenaline rush and endorphins.

    Hopefully you find a plan that works for you! I find the last 10 lbs can be extremely tough to lose so it requires more vigilance than people with a lot more to lose.

    • Thank you Grace. I agree with you. I work out not only to loose/maintain weight but for the rush! I LOVE how I feel during the workout and after. That amazing feeling stays with you all day. I love the energy I get all day long. Yet for some reason I still have a hard time getting up and doing it. I I guess thats why I have the love/hate thing going on. 🙂

      Did you ever go through a period of weight loss? If so I’d love to hear your story. 🙂 It does require lots of vigilance. Its hard to cut out the junk food you love but I’ve been trying. I think I’m starting to get a hang of it since this last post. I’ve been trying out different things. I am eating hummus on my sandwiches instead of mayo. I bought a few work out dvds in addition to my running. I think by changing my routine through rotating the dvd’s and running I won’t get bored. It’ll give me a challenge.

      Thanks for the encouraging and sweet words.

    • I just took a peek at your blog and saw the pics. You look so amazing! Its encouraging to know that I am not the only who struggles w/ maintaining my weight. Your right enough is enough. 🙂

  2. I hear you! I have upped my mileage to 4-5 miles running instead of 2-3 at a time and I have been squatting and lunging until my legs fall off and I have really noticed a difference. weight loss wasn’t my goal more toning was. Wanted to see muscles ! Mike, my husband said I wasn’t working out hard enough and he was right now that I have kicked up I have seen a difference!

    • So do I. I want weight loss but also muscle and definition. Thats awesome that are really starting to see a difference. I bought this new dvd that will help with the toning. Its a 30 day toning program. It has you working out 6 days a week. I can’t wait to start it on Monday.

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